I have had an interesting summer so far. Lots of “free” time – meaning, lots of time to play with Finn. Not a lot of time to do the things that I had hoped I would be able to do like help my mom clean and organize her house or purge everything from me and the Count’s room. Finn isn’t the type of kid who will play by himself for an hour and let you get things done. He’s constantly in your space and wants to play with you non-stop. So, we do. Mostly. Or we go places. Which has been great. I feel like I have given him a truly great summer. Sure, there are days where I feel like a really shitty mom because we literally watch TV all day, but then I try to balance it out by taking him to a museum the next day. Life is a game of give and take. Something like that. I am definitely getting better and better at this “Mom” gig – always wondering how I can do better and how I can give him more.
I’ve also wanted to sit down and write and update my blog so many times. I thought that this would be the summer that I really blogged consistently and meaningful. Found my voice. Found my rhythm. Finally found what it is I wanted to say and share with the world. However, all too many times I’ve stared at a blank page because I feel like I have just too much to say or I have nothing to say at all and a total of zero people who actually care about it, other than myself for posterity’s sake. So, instead I let my brain go to mush on Netflix night after night. I’ve caught up on almost all of my shows and am back to trying to finish Gilmore Girls. This was also going to be the summer that I read “all the classics”. Haha. Wishful thinking. My Brit Lit professor last semester (who, by the way, convinced me to change my major from Secondary Ed to just straight English) gave me a list of all the greats I had to read. Needless to say, I failed miserably and I don’t see that changing before the summer is over.
However, here I am. One thing I learned from one of my writing classes last semester is that the important this is just to write. Don’t think about the content, the technical aspects, the audience, or anything else — just write. So, I am. When I can. Sometimes that is literally in the “Notes” app of my phone while watching a children’s program with Finn while annoyingly tapping with one finger at a time. Other times it’s while “watching” something on Netflix, aka it’s minimized on my screen while I write which the Count finds really really weird. But mostly it’s just in my head or out loud in the car – Finn really likes that! One thing’s for sure… you definitely haven’t heard the last of my rambling brain no matter how long in between posts it is. :)