We recently hit a huge milestone and moved out after living with my parents for 21 months. It was a day of sadness, joy, and triumph. Sadness because we were leaving the home where most of Finn’s memories were made— the only home that he has truly ever known. So many good things happened in that home, obviously. We all had countless good memories and I will forever be grateful for every single one of them and for the love that filled that house and surrounded Finn on a daily basis. We will certainly miss having my parents right there for support, but luckily they are right across the street. We made sure not to move far for Finn and our sake!
It was a day of joy because we could finally be a family of three again. Not that we did not love being a family of six (for the most part!) at my parents’ home. It was so nice to have his grandparents in the same house to always be there for not only him, but us as well. However, there is just something about being on our own as a family. I think it will definitely change our family dynamics and we will all have to relearn things— especially Finn as the only family he has ever known has had a mom, a dad, a grandma, a grandpa, and an uncle. Thinking about that makes me realize how different an experience this was for Finn, but also how great it made him as a person. He was very lucky and now we will learn to become a family of three together again!
And triumph because we are finally able to live on our own. Sort of. I had to get another job, but that’s besides the point. We’re on our own and it feels great! The Count graduated, he’s working full-time now, and we’re both on our way to better futures! It will also be nice to have more control over our lives and what Finn is exposed to. I know I have mentioned that my brother had some pretty extreme mental illnesses, so when he was in an active state with those, it made everybody’s life pretty difficult, including Finn’s. Knowing that we now had control over what he was exposed to on a daily basis was a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders.
So, with all that said, we had hoped that those closest to us would realize the weight and impact of this milestone and be happier for us than they have been. We had hoped that our closest friends would have been by by now to see our new home and wish us well and share in our happiness, but that is not the case. I guess life goes on for everybody else. Not one friend has been by.
A part of me wonders if it is because we are living in an apartment and not a big fancy home. Is our home any less than anybody else’s? It’s not a half a million dollar dream home, but it’s our home and more importantly, it’s Finn’s home. He was so excited to share it with his friends. His disappointment has worn off but I don’t think mine has for him.
Sometimes you have to celebrate your own triumphs and milestones in your own way. When you downplay their importance, I guess you can’t expect others to do any different. I didn’t make a big fuss on social media at the time because I didn’t think that a lot of people cared and apparently I may have been right.
However, my parents have been hugely supportive. They were right there with us the whole time and even though they set us up with an entire refrigerator, freezer, and pantry full of food when we moved in PLUS some, the next weekend they still came over and brought us rugs to place throughout our house, when they are the last people we would ever expect to do anything else for us as they’ve already given us everything. It’s like, we didn’t even have to tell them how we felt, they just knew and were happy for us and most of all, for Finn.