Tag Archives: hard times

Moving

For-Sale-Sign

As I’ve mentioned a few times, we’re selling our house. After a series of unfortunate events this year, we were left with almost half of our income and a house we can no longer afford. It felt really helpless, painful, and incredibly humbling. We were faced with several choices. Does Dan get a full time job and put school on hold for the time being so that we can afford to stay in our home? Do we rent out our house until Dan graduates and gets a job and we can afford to move back in? Or do we cut our losses and sell and find greener pastures down the road?

Well, I haven’t been working my ass off for all these years at dead end jobs so that Dan can put his school on hold, so Option A was out of the question. And we really thought about renting it out but ultimately decided that we just don’t have the resources or time to do that. We aren’t investors after all. After talking with a Realtor and looking at the monetary side of things we decided it was a good time to sell, we’re not underwater and will definitely make some money off of our home (if it ever sells that is). Then we can put that little nest egg away until Dan does graduate and finds a job, wherever that may be, whether it’s in Arizona or otherwise, and buy our second home. I know once he graduates and finds a job, things will be better eventually.

So, we put our house up for sale 3 weeks ago. We’ve had 4 showings. It’s slow right now and getting slower as it gets closer to the holidays. Our money is running out, we’re definitely feeling a little anxious and worried. We know all it takes is one person to like our house… so we’re just waiting.

Once it does sell, we’ll be moving in with my parents until Dan does graduate and finds a job. It will make things easier as my mom watches Finn and we won’t have to wake Finn up at ungodly hours of the morning to drop him off and make that extra drive. We’ll already be there. We also know it will be hard living there. We make no qualms about that. My younger brother just moved back in after his failed stint in Northern California which really complicated things. But we will make it work because we are family. Hopefully at the very least we can all be a good influence on each other in the eating department by all following a heart smart diet together! That’s our plan anyways.

Meanwhile at home, everyday we have to make sure our house is clean and clutter-free. That’s the biggest pain in the ass part about this whole process. Sometimes at the end of the night after a 10 hour shift, making dinner, playing with Finn and putting him to bed, I’m so tired and the last thing I want to do is clean the kitchen, take the garbage out and put all Finn’s toys away! But… I have to. And often times (like this weekend), Dan isn’t of much help because he’s busy studying for a Physical Chemistry or a Biochemistry or a Genetics test. Oh the life of a future scientist…

This weekend we’re having an open house so we’ll see if that helps drum up any interest. I will be emptying closets all week in an effort to continue to de-clutter the house and then Thursday will be super cleaning mode!

NaBloPoMo November 2013

 

This is post #5 of NaBloPoMo.

National Blog Posting Month is an annual event that takes place each November where bloggers commit to writing everyday in November.

Hard Times

I have put off writing this post for a long time, but I’ve finally decided it was time. For me. Because I need to. It’s so therapeutic for me to write and all too often I don’t do it. This last year was the hardest year for me. Probably not for Dan, but definitely for me. We’ve faced some really difficult times together which I’ve talked about before. Six months after I met Dan he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure as a result of his untreated cardiomyopathy and hyperthyroidism. Well you can read all about that here. Anyways, 3 months after that his dad died after a long battle with alcoholism. So, that was probably his roughest time. He has been on  disability since that time and working on getting healthy and trying to live a normal life knowing that one day he may still need a heart transplant and that he may still not live the same long and healthy life that his friends and other people his age will. Fast forward 10 years and he is doing so much better. He’s 3 semesters away from graduating with a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry, we have a happy and healthy son, a house, and overall we’re pretty happy. However, this last year was anything but a walk in the park.

Finn’s birth story was no fun, although I can’t say I’m really complaining about a c-section (heh), just the 48 hours leading up to it, and then of course the eclamptic seizure and losing my vision for 4 days and all that sure was one of the scariest things I’ve ever been through, if not, the scariest. Then there were my back troubles, my emergency back surgery in September, all the physical therapy that led up to it, and the absolutely miserable headache that happened afterwards and ended up being a cerebral spinal fluid leak due to them nicking my dura during the back surgery in September that meant another emergency back surgery in October to repair that. This resulted in some serious headaches that I am still dealing with 9 months later and am on some heavy duty headache and seizure medication daily to keep them at bay. Not having enough spinal fluid in your skull for such a long period of time can really do a number on you, let me tell ya! I went a month without! I still have another ruptured disc that I am nursing and doing everything that I can to avoid any other surgeries because the fear of that happening again is almost worse than the pain that I endure everyday.

I went back to work in January after 4 months of being off and it was pretty miserable. Absolutely awful new management that I endured for just a couple of months and then on March 8th my department of 40 was informed that they were cutting it to 10 people and the rest were either being sent back to the phones (at practically my starting pay from 5 years ago) or packing to find new jobs. I chose the latter. If I’m going to have to start over, I’d rather start over somewhere else, not at a sinking ship working for what I already knew was horrible management. Luckily, I stayed in pretty good contact with my old boss at the company I used to work for and I asked her if she would hire me back. And she did. Practically that day. So, I stayed with my current (old) company until the date they gave us (April 4th) after putting in my 2 weeks, and started at my new (old-old) company as a supervisor/CSR. Then, the manager of the department stepped down! A blessing! And they asked me to apply. And I did. And I got it. I start June 2nd. So, I have another month to continue to try to get up to speed where I’m at and then I’ll be the manager of this department. Yikes.

And then we got another road block. Dan lost his disability. Which is good and bad. It’s good because he’s not “disabled” anymore. It’s bad because on top of going to school full time taking a full load of biochemistry classes AND doing research at the school for FREE so he can get a job afterwards AND having a kid AND a house to take care of, he has to now get a part-time job. Maybe 2, to make up for what he was making. Which wasn’t much, but it wasn’t anything to laugh at either. So that’s where we’re at. It’s like one thing after another. Fortunately, I can put him on my insurance at work because I’m still in the 3 month waiting period at work and so I’ll be able to sign all 3 of us up at the same time and he won’t have to go without insurance for any period of time.

So, things are really stressful for us right now. Where does he get work after not working for 10 years? Who is going to hire somebody with no recent work experience? Where do we go from here? What do we do?

All I know is I’m just thankful for us, still. After 10 years and everything we’ve been through… WE. STILL. HAVE. US. And now we have Finn, too. He makes everything 10x harder, but 10x better at the same time. I know we’ll get through this. Like we’ve gotten through everything else. This feels like the end of the road a the moment, sometimes I wake up and I cry and I just think, none of this stuff is worth it, take it all, I’m done. And then I get up, I shower, I go to work, and it is. It just is. We’ve thought about renting our house out for the last year and moving in with my parents while Dan finishes school so that he doesn’t have to stress about getting a job (and we’re still thinking about it) and I don’t have to carry so much weight on my shoulders anymore. We’ll see what happens. Dan doesn’t want to do that. We like having our own house, of course, but I also really want Dan to be able to concentrate of school and his research program his last year and not have to worry about any of this crap.

I found this great quote that really resonated with me:

The bottom line: If you want a happier family, create, refine, and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones.
That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.

via a New York Times article / March 2013

We’ve definitely made it through a lot of hard times. We’ll make it through these hard times. We have a lot of great family to support us. We have US. And at the end of this great big tunnel we have hopefully something great. A job for Dan with his degree. Lots of student loans to pay off. You know, the American Dream. :)