Settling In… Again


We’ve been in our own place for almost a year now. Our second place actually. It feels good, a bit lonely (more on that later), but, good. But we are settling in again.

I think the biggest thing about having our own place is having our autonomy back. We don’t have to answer every time we buy something new or eat out. Or if you are having a bad day and don’t feel like talking to somebody, you don’t have to talk to anybody in passing and have it turn into a big deal.

Of course, these are very minor things in the grand scheme. Living with my family was one of the biggest “godsends” we could have ever asked for. My parents were so giving when they could have used a hand themselves. They are the most thoughtful and selfless people on the planet. They were huge assets in making sure that the Count graduated with his undergrad degree and continue to be while I work on my own final year of my undergrad and he works on his first year of post-grad. We would both be nowhere without them. Let that be on the record. My mom is Finn’s third parent and he sees her as such. Even a mom. She could easily pick up, should, heaven forbid, something happen to me. She’s the person we turn to for everything— and I mean everything!

However, I do not miss the dysfunction of living there with my brother who has some severe mental illness and substance abuse issues. I am so glad that Finn has his own house where he isn’t exposed to that on a daily basis. A much safer environment. Something we’d all agree on. My brother is the smartest, kindest, and definitely sweetest person to Finn, but as it goes with mental illness and substance abuse, they do not mix. They were not easy to always shield Finn from when he was having an episode.

We’ve been enjoying putting our new place together and making it our own. Finally unboxing things that have been in my parents’ garage for over 2 years from our old house and finding places for them or *gasp* getting rid of them as we try to pair down more.

We have also discovered that we like living small. We’ve discussed on numerous occasions that our ~1200 square foot apartment is just about the perfect size for us. Neither one of us likes to clean and we definitely don’t like doing yard work! We can see ourselves buying a condo or townhouse with a minimal yard that is not too much bigger than what we have now. Or, living in an apartment longterm. I kind of like being able to call somebody else if something goes wrong. We’d like to spend our money on travel in the long run!!!

For the most part, we’re settled and happy and it feels good.