I’m Thankful For…

thankful

I’m thankful for The Count who does most of the bedtime routine with Finn. We always start out together and I take care of all of the logistical stuff like brushing his teeth, filling his milk, changing his sheets if they need changing, adding water to his humidifier… but he’s the patient one who will rock him in the rocking chair longer than is really necessary or play with him longer than he really should. I can usually sneak away and leave them to each other and listen on the baby monitor to their bedtime conversations or songs and I love that.

I’m thankful for my brother who got some much needed help and seems to finally be on a much needed new path for himself. He is a whole new person to be around and it’s created an entirely new family dynamic around the house. I feel so much less tense and life feels so much easier now. I hope this continues but of course there’s a little part of me that will always feel skeptical. For now though, I am thankful for this peace.

I’m thankful for my new healthy eating. I know I recently said I was fine with how I looked and my body and I still am… but something got into me this past week and I felt that I needed some control in my life and I realized that I had control over everything I put into my body! So, I woke up on Monday and starting eating healthy and I haven’t stopped and am not looking back. I have lost 3 1/2 pounds already, amazingly enough. I’m thankful that I found this motivation.

I’m thankful that my mom is coming home tonight after spending 3 weeks in California. I have weathered the storm here without her for 3 whole weeks and while things have finally calmed, I am glad she will be coming home. I feel like the weight of the household has been on me and it will be nice to have somebody to share the load with. Plus, Finn’s missed her a whole lot and it will be nice for his world to go back to normal with all his people in one place (and piece).

I’m thankful for my new planner which is going to keep me organized all year. That’s the plan anyways. With 5 online classes of my own, 2 online classes to grade, Finn’s 2 preschool programs, swim lessons, bills, and then of course The Count’s ever-changing schedule… life is very hectic. I thought I’d try sticking to a system and see how it goes. I love my new planner and already feel inspired and motivated to succeed.

Most of all, I’m thankful for this peace that I suddenly am filled with and haven’t felt in such a long time. I feel like my family and our home is filled with so much chaos, a lot of times anger and resentment, and most of it was due to my brother’s mental illnesses. I have been working really hard lately to change my attitude about the whole thing lately and even though I always ALWAYS knew that mental illness was a disease, I think until you have lived, breathed, and bled it everyday, you don’t know how challenging it is to truly accept that. And when the person doesn’t ever get the help they need and you are completely helpless and can only really watch all the lives it affects hang in the balance… it makes it exponentially harder! I’ve been making more of an effort to recognize the changes he’s been making and trying to do everything I can to support him. It’s a long, hard road but his attitude and heart are in the right place right now and I guess that’s all that matters at this point.

I’m also thankful for The Count for being the best bug killer around.